Once Upon a Time...

Once upon a time, a room serviced a couple that answered the door completely naked. They invited me in. I was not invited to the front entry, but instead, deep up in the room. They then asked me to be their third. I politely declined, took the generous tip and exited. 

I could not accept because I wasn't brazening enough versus my counterpart, who would sweep women from the restaurant to empty rooms, with help of key cards from the front desk. Smooth. Real smooth. I also had a wisdom tooth driving me to bang my head against the wall. 

Still to this day, I recall the offer. Teehee.

Once upon a time I beat the shit out of the highschool whore that attending my boyfriends college house. This smack down all started when she skipped me in beer pong because she showed her tits. I had waited patiently, which was unlike myself, and it was MY DAMN TURN. 

After being turned down by house rules from my bf's freinds, I was humiliated. Why did none of these dudes have my back? For fuck sake, I held the power of secretcy of the debachery that happened whilst they had girlfriends. I am not petity though, and decided to attack things from the source. This chick, who had her glow up in highschool, was trying to claim queen bee of the boy's house. And, that just could not happen. 

When I had this beta alone, I gave her a chance; after all I am not a monster if she wants to submit. I politely asked, "Do you want to apologize to me for skipping me in the beer pong line?" She started, "Biiiiitttccc," but by the first vowel I already had her head smashing against the solid oak door. Whilst I repititiously banged her head like a drum, I asked, "Want to apologize yet?" 

I'm sure I would have gotten that apology if the boys of the house hadn't stopped the ass whooping I was delivering. After the fight was broken and the no-longer queen bee left (never returned either) I was outcasted. This hurt. 

One night my intoxicated brethren needed a place to crash in the snow and stumbled into my boyfriends house. The boys were accomedating until they found out whose brother he was. They started to get unrested, rumbling about how my brother had drank too many beers (they were under age) and the environment turned hostile. 

Finally arring at the boe's house, I found my brother having an ultercation with the boy pot circle of fifteen, listening to Citizen Cope. The typical faces were there. Only girlfriends were allowed in the space, no play toys. Two girls were amounst the fifteen men. One of those girls one of my besties. 

In the circle stood my brother, pissed, wondering why he was getting yelled at about something so simple as beer. I grabbed him out of the room, and closed the solid oak door behind me. I deadbolted it. My brother was stoaked, and ready to press the iron, best to keep him behind closed doors.

I started to tell the boys that I needed one road beer for him, to keep him walking to my place, and we would be on our way. One of the males that had gone to highschool with the crew but didn't live in the house claimed, "After you beat up our hometown girl, no one is doing you any favors, biiiittcc," Once again that 'B' word, by now the title must be true, never-the-less my already heated brother herd them calm me a bitch, and took a foot to the wood door. 

At the hinges the door splinted, expelling right into my back. My brother galavanted inside, stomping heavy steps on the oak door that held me prisoned. 

Like a scene from a poorly written comedy my brother qued, "Where is my sister?" As the boys all pointed I mumbled, "Under the door!" "Oh shit, here let me help you," he bolstered while offering a hand out of the reckage. 

With solid, oak, deadbolted, door ready for kindling, my brother posed, "Which one of you assholes called my sister a bitch?" He eyed the circle of fifteen. All the boys submitted, all bowed their heads to the Alpha which had just took rein. As my brother's medium stature draped over the boys like a mencing culonembous, they readied, goosebumps drawn. 

The one who called me a bitch was finially shouldered, and nudged enough to speak truth, "I did it."  "But your sister beat up our friend, broke her nose, gave her a concusion, and now she is too scared to return." Whispering more to himself than outloud, "I love them titties."

He was right, she was blessed with a nice natural set, and the rest of her wasn't bad looking either, only if she dropped the trailer trash unsamble. Fucking Minnesota rich kids and that '8 Mile' movie, sparked a motion of over the tracks mentablity. 

They had no idea what i've seen and been through. Things that are real and unspeakable. My brother having been thrown in hardcore prison at seventeen, has spent many nights alone in the hole, for his own safety. Safety, which we paid for.

"I don't give a fuck what my sister did, how dare you disrespect me or her!"

"But you were drinking all our beer!" 

"I was on the way to the store to replace it when my sister got here. How dare you show us such negative hospitality!" 

Another boy tried standing up to speak his peace, reguardless of the girlfriends warning and pleading at his side.

This was it. This was the last straw. No apology was given, just more excuses and bullshit. It was time for these boys to be taught a well earned lesson. 

"Calling my sister a bitch huh? All I see around this room is a bunch of bitches." 

"Infact; I'm not even going to give you the honor of a man's fistfight. Instead, I am going to slap you all like the bitches you are, and like a bitch, you all are going to sit pretty and take it."

My brother proceeds to smake ever boy in a row, and when he got to number six he tried to stand. He spoke softly a word of protest to the violent before my bother spat, "Shut your fucking bitch mouth up before I pull your pants down, and fuck you in the ass." 

The boys old lady screamed, "Oh God. Please, oh, please, don't fuck my boyfriend in the ass!" Her eyes were wide with horror as she gazed into my brothers and knew he meant it. She looked like a deer uncertain which way to dart caught in headlights. 

Number six sat and proceeded to get slapped. My brother continued his sesson of life lessons (taught by force and belt, there isn't any feelings corning in my family). By the time my brother had gotten to the end of the boys, a few brave ones decidee to jump him while he was turned. 

My boyfriend stepped into the room and tried dragging my brother out away from the three boys, knocking himself and my brother over awary from his elementary school friends. "Let go of me or you're going to get hurt," my brother repeated three times. After no avail, and the boys piling on the top while he was knocked to the ground, I punched my way through to him. I helped him to get his footing, and back upright. 

The boys all scattered like cockroaches to a light. "Let's go, I'm going to burn this mother fucker to the ground." 

No one questioned him. They all ran. They all were in fear for the safety of their lives. They all piled into my friends house next door. She rang me, 

"All the guys say your brother is burning the house down? Is that true?" 

"No, but let them think that. The fuckers, I have work to do." 

My brother collected himself and exited the front door, in attemps to make it to my house. I on the other hand had an agenda. How dare my boyfriend hold my brother down. How. The. Fuck. Dare. He. 

I slide into hir room were he was hiding from the chaos, knowing my brother wasn't going to burn anything down. I proceeded to deck him in the eye as hard as I could.

I walked home.