Brother says I'm fat...

My brother retorted after my complaint, "I'm fat. So what? I enjoy food as an activity. Why do you have to be skinny?"

"Skinny? God no, that is too much work. I mean non pre-diabetes weight. I would like to not have a stroke."

All my girlfriends eased back into the woodwork not having to say their usual statements of, "You're not fat," "It must be nice to have an ass," "You don't look wide, you look bodacious." Each of their heads slipped back into the walls, fading away into the wallpaper.

Quora answers question: breakup in 50 words

It's not you, it's me.

I ate the center of the cherry pie.

I left my half-licked plate in the boudior on our bed.

I killed your dog by accident. I then ate your last bit of chocolate ice-cream over his carcus. 

Don't you cry, this is totally on me.